The real vs. the "real"

Throughout our existence we face many challenges as beings. But when we are going through a stage of life that we become more spiritual we give our self more questions than answers.
Real life is such a loose term. For what is "real" here in this world is far less real in the other (for me). So what dose it matter what happens at a silly birthday party right?At a certain point as a human i have discovered that the challenges i face in life may or may not make a difference when i leave this world. Not MAJOR ones like murder, or well. . . taking another life for the hell of it is probably the worst thing i can think of . . . . any who. I went to a CRAZY collage birthday party fit with drinks, dancing, drugs, and most of all DRAMA. I have tried many attempts to make small talk with people failing every time to keep their interest.
By the end of the party I felt rather useless. I mingled and danced and partook in all kinds of merriment but i dont feel satisfied. The party was great fun, but i feel like an outcast. But for a few people who know me (sort of) i felt like even the girl whos birthday it was didnt like me. My question now is dose this matter?
Should i really be concerned if i feel isolated and that i dont "fit in" with a bunch of drunken 20-somethings? *sigh Alas i dont know if me fitting in will make a difference in the GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, but is it bad to want to fit in with peers?
Many questions unanswered. Thats where my frustration and doubt come from right now. For the close acquaintances i have now they can argue and debunk all my doubts with kind words about how they like me and how im a sweet, kind, interesting person, but ... i STILL wont "fit in"
It shouldnt matter and in reality it dosent this will not taint the being i am this will not put a stain on my existance. But as a human i long for acceptance and its a feeling i havent experienced much as many groups of people that have accepted me and denied all the things i have described to you now. BUT i long to belong and i dont know if i will feel that until i go home and leave this place. Oh well ive only got another 50 -60 years of waiting whats that compared to an eternity right?